


A Volume of Springtime Haiku

by IreneSpring



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Barisi Valentine's Cliché Challenge, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Flowers, Fluff, Haiku, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Rafael gets emotional, Sonny buys flowers and writes terrible poems, The title is a reference this isn't all poetry, prompt 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29590647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneSpring/pseuds/IreneSpring
Summary: 5 times Sonny buys tulips for Rafael and one time Rafael buys tulips for him.Prompt: What are the flowers for?
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37
Collections: Barisi Valentine’s Cliché Challenge





	A Volume of Springtime Haiku

**Author's Note:**

> What? I made the title a West Wing reference? How entirely unpredictable. I bet you're all shocked.
> 
> This is by far the longest fic I wrote for this challenge. It was a stupid idea that I had writing SFF and was originally the only thing I was going to write for February/Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy it.

**1.**

Rafael knows it’s cliché, but he really hates Mondays. It isn’t even that he has work. His work is soul-crushing, but it gives him purpose. Not to mention he usually gets to see his boyfriend. It’s just something about the atmosphere. People are always more tired and more irritable on Mondays. And Rafael himself has never been a beacon of sunshine, so he absorbs the malaise easily. 

It’s already shaping up to be a bad day. His favorite coffee place is closed for repairs, his Lyft price today was especially exorbitant, and he has a meeting with Buchanan. He has enough presence of mind to still be courteous to Carmen, but he hopes none of the detectives choose to show him nonsense today. He’s not sure their fragile egos would survive it. And then, as he enters his office, he stops.

On his desk is a large bouquet of bright red tulips. Managing a smile, he reads the attached card.

_ “These tulips are red _

_ Your tie is red today too _

_ This is a haiku _

_ Xoxo, _

_ Sonny” _

Rafael laughs as he counts the number of syllables on his fingers. It’s absurd how easily his boyfriend can cheer him up. He leaves the tulips in place and dials a familiar number.

“Hey Rafi, how’s your day going?” Sonny asks, but Rafael refuses to be distracted.

“What are the flowers for?” he asks, picking one out of the arrangement and inspecting it from multiple angles. He knows it isn’t his birthday. He knows it isn’t the anniversary of when they started dating. It’s not a holiday.

“When I had to wake you up when I was leaving you scowled at me.”

“And?” That can’t possibly be it. There must have been a reason. Rafael must have done something right. He would like to know what it was so he can do it again.

“And I know how you generally are down on Mondays. And I had time before work.”

“And?” This is a mystery now and Rafael  _ will  _ solve it.

“And that’s it. You told me not to buy you roses, so that’s why they’re tulips. And I did the haiku because I thought it would make you laugh.”

“You know a haiku is actually supposed to be poetic, you shouldn’t just slam a 5/7/5 together and deem it finished.”

“Did it make you laugh, Rafi?”

“Yes.”

“Then it did its job.”

“So… you did all this because you knew I’d be in a bad mood?”

“Yep. How great am I?” Rafael laughs and he swears he can hear Sonny’s smile at the sound.

“Pretty great,” he concedes.

**2.**

Rafael is feeling good. A favorable plea deal was arranged. A survivor was spared a trial. Rafael deems that a day well spent. Plus, he got to see Rita’s ‘defeated and angry about it’ face, which is always a plus. He whistles a little tune as he drops off the lunch he got for himself and Carmen. When he enters his office, he smiles. There are royal blue tulips on his desk.

As he steps closer to inspect them, he notices the card. He eagerly picks it up. This is the best he’s felt all week. Probably all month.

“ _ You are the bestest _

_ I’ve decided that’s a word _

_ Because it suits you _

_ Love,  _

_ Sonny” _

Doing the obligatory syllable count on his fingers, Rafael feels his heart swell. The squad rarely acknowledges him when he gets a plea deal. He gets a few drinks when he wins, barely hidden glares when he loses, but few people ever go out of the way to congratulate a plea. Except Sonny. Sweet, endlessly considerate Sonny. Rafael still doesn’t know how he got this lucky. He picks up his phone and sends a text.

**_Rafael:_ ** _ I got your message. And the flowers. Thank you. _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ You’re always welcome Raf <3 _

**_Rafael:_ ** _ “Bestest” isn’t a word _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ That’s why I said I decided it’s a word _

**_Rafael:_ ** _ Still _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ You know Shakespeare invented a lot of words _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ That’s why we have the word puke _

**_Rafael:_ ** _ And what would civilization be without that vital contribution _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ Idk but it wouldn’t be as funny _

**_Rafael:_ ** _ Debatable _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ Yeah ok _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ Lieu’s calling us  _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ Gtg _

**_Rafael:_ ** _ Okay. Love you. _

**_Sonny:_ ** _ <3 <3 <3 _

Rafael grins and turns off his phone. He shakes his head at himself. He needs to gain perspective. He still has work to do. Horrible, awful work that will make him sick to his stomach. But right now, everything just seems good. He’s not in the right headspace to deal with the most evil people humanity has to offer. How can he, when he has tulips on his desk and a boyfriend who sends him heart emoticons? 

What he needs to do, what he can focus on right now, is repaying Sonny. Not because the flowers are part of a transaction, but because he wants to make Sonny as happy as Sonny makes him. 

He takes out his phone again and scrolls through the pictures he has of him and Sonny. When he finds one he thinks he can replicate, he takes out a legal pad and a pen and begins a sketch.

**3.**

Rafael is a little drunk. Okay, a lot drunk. Alex had to drive him home from Forlini’s. But what is a best friend for if not that? And why shouldn’t he get drunk? His boyfriend’s family hates him. And his sober mind was convinced that he’s going to lose his boyfriend over it, despite the fact that Sonny said that wouldn’t happen. Rafael’s drunk mind is just focussed on the bright lights. They’re too bright. 

Sonny isn’t home. He probably went on a drive. That’s a thing Sonny does; apparently a holdover from his Staten Island days or his particularly painful days from other boroughs. Maybe he’s going on a drive so that he doesn’t have to be around Rafael until he’s figured how he’s going to end things. Sonny’s family is important to him.

Rafael wanted Sonny’s family to like him so much. He tried. He tried really hard, despite the fact that he would never admit it and might not have done it consciously. And they still hated him. There’s a sort of comfort in that they didn’t hate him for something he can change. They didn’t tell him he needed to fix himself. They just rejected him outright. It’s less dangerous that way. 

It still sucks.

Rafael thinks he’ll just fall asleep on the couch. That way Sonny has to see him when he gets back. He’s going to make Sonny look at his drunk and pitiful form before he ends things. Maybe that will make Sonny lose his nerve. Rafael is perfectly comfortable with only having a boyfriend because Sonny feels guilty. Rafael just wants Sonny. He loves Sonny. It doesn’t matter if the lights are too bright, his mind doesn’t care. His mind just loves Sonny. Rafael stops when he sees the table.

Tulips. Orange and yellow, pretty tulips. With a card. Rafael frowns. Would Sonny break up with him via tulip note? It’s possible. Rafael would still treasure the note. A memory of his true love.  _ True love _ . Rafael is really drunk. He takes the card, resolving that it is best to face his fate rather than let it remain in limbo. He is not equipped to handle Schrodinger’s breakup note.

_ “I’ve gone for a drive _

_ Don’t worry ‘bout anything _

_ I love you so much _

_ Always and forever, _

_ Sonny” _

Rafael just stares at the note. He’s scared that if he reads it again it will say something else. He doesn’t want it to say something else. He reads it again anyway. It says the same thing. Sonny loves him. Sonny loves him ‘always and forever.’ Sonny isn’t leaving him. Sonny  _ chooses  _ him. Sonny loves him enough that he would pick Rafael over an alternative. Despite that being a basic principle of any relationship, choosing your partner over other prospects, Rafael still can barely believe it. Sonny chooses  _ him _ . Rafael cannot handle this right now. 

Rafael starts crying.

He doesn’t know why. He’s happy. Relieved. But it’s too much. So he keeps crying. Because Sonny’s parents hate him, and it sucks. No matter how many times he tells himself he won’t let other people’s homophobia or racism bother him anymore, it still sucks. But Sonny loves him. Sonny doesn’t care what his family thinks. Sonny does care about Rafael.

Some time later, Rafael hears Sonny open the door. Rafael is still crying, and he can’t be bothered to stop. Sonny finds him and instantly wraps his arms around him.

“What’s wrong, Raf? Talk to me.”

“Your note.”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“You love me.”

“I do, Raf. Of course I do. Nothing changes that.”

“Always and forever,” Rafael recites, remembering the card. Sonny lets out a soft chuckle and presses his cheek against Rafael’s head.

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Always and forever.”

**4.**

Rafael considers and then rejects the idea of texting Alex for approximately the 726th time today. He trusts her. She told him she’d take care of it. Still, he wants to know. Has Sonny agreed to get help? Has he acknowledged something is wrong? Is he still pink-clouding? Is he disgusted that Rafael can’t get his shit together and just handle getting yelled at like a normal person?

Radio silence.

Rafael briefly entertains the question of whether or not there’s some kind of heart-to-heart confidentiality. Maybe Alex won’t tell him anything. Maybe Sonny will just come home, and completely ignore him. Possibly worse, maybe Sonny will be angry. Angry that Rafael talked to Alex, angry that Rafael couldn’t just take it like a man. Rafael will have to leave if that happens. Rafael doesn’t want to leave.

Rafael doesn’t blame Sonny. Rafael doesn’t blame Sonny for any of it. He’s worked with enough people with PTSD to recognize it when it’s literally yelling in his face. Still, it hurts. Hence Alex. His last hope to get through to Sonny. Alex has never let him down before. Ever. 

He just wishes she’d text.

He hears a knock on the door. Steeling himself for the worst, he checks the peephole and lets Sonny in. Sonny’s face is red, and his eyes look puffy. In his arms is a bouquet of white tulips. Sonny wordlessly hands the flowers to him. Rafael accepts them, and opens the card.

_ “Alex talked to me _

_ I’m so so so so sorry _

_ I have let you down _

_ Forgive me, _

_ Sonny” _

Rafael sets down the flowers and the card, not bothering to keep the tears out of his eyes.

“You didn’t let me down,” he whispers. He’s barely finished saying the words when Sonny collapses into his arms. Rafael holds him tightly, rubbing circles on his back as he cries. “I love you, Sonny. You didn’t let me down. It wasn’t your fault.”

“R-R-Raf I-I’m sorry,” Sonny manages.

“It’s okay, I forgive you.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you. I know you didn’t mean it. I know you were just scared. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”

“But-”

“Sonny. A bad thing happened to me in the past. Just because there is lingering trauma does not mean I do not understand that you did not scare me on purpose.” Sonny shakes his head and Rafael sighs. “Sonny, look at me.” Sonny finally raises his eyes to Rafael. “Are you going to get help? Are you going to take this seriously?”

“Yes,” Sonny says immediately, nodding furiously.

“Then don’t hate yourself for this,” Rafael urges. 

“I was weak. I let myself-”

“Sonny, no. You’re not any weaker than I was. Any weaker than Alex was.”

“I let myself hurt you.”

“No. You didn’t.”

“Rafael-”

“Sonny, if I was scared of you, if I thought you were going to put me in danger, I wouldn’t be here, okay? I can take care of myself. Was I scared in the moment? Yes. I couldn’t help that. But once I calmed down, I didn’t hate you. I just wanted you to get help, so that both of us could stop being scared. But you wouldn’t listen to me, which is why I had Alex talk to you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Sonny wipes his eyes and Rafael kisses his temple.

**5.**

Rafael takes a long breath in and smiles. He got to sleep in. A rarity in general, and something he hasn’t done in over a month. But Noah is home safe, everyone is safe, and it’s a weekend. There is no reason for him not to be relaxed. He feels the spot next to him in bed for his boyfriend and groans when he feels nothing but a mattress with a slight indent. Sonny is gone. Well, there goes every single relaxed couple thing they could do that morning. Should he go back to sleep? No. He can’t. The light is shining into the room even through the curtains. Nature is forcing his hand. 

With another groan, he gets up and goes to fix himself coffee. When he gets to the kitchen, his face breaks into a grin. Purple tulips greet him. Clearly, Sonny woke up early. Rafael blinks sun out of his eyes as he fully enters the bright kitchen, and carefully holds up the card.

_ “Good morning, honey _

_ I’m gonna let you get sleep _

_ I’ll be home early. _

_ Try to eat something, _

_ Sonny” _

Sonny must have got called in. Rafael knows Liv is taking time off, but all that means is that Fin’s in charge. It doesn’t guarantee a lazy Saturday for Sonny. Rafael looks around the kitchen and notices some fresh ingredients laid out on the counter. Rafael is touched. Sonny must have also gotten food for breakfast when he picked up the flowers. 

Rafael might be totally incompetent at most aspects of cooking but he did manage to survive more or less on his own since the age of eight so he does know how to make himself food. Moreover, follow-up texts from Sonny confirm that he wasn’t fully called-in, they just needed him to talk to a survivor he had made a connection with. He will be home within the hour. Rafael will make him waffles. 

Sonny walks in the door with a big smile.

“Honey! I’m home!” Sonny calls out cheerfully. Rafael rolls his eyes but still smiles at the sight of his boyfriend.

“Did the talk go well?”

“Very well. They’re doing better. I think they’re going to be up for a lineup in a couple days. And we know they saw the perp’s face, so that’s gonna be a slam dunk.”

“Excellent job,” Rafael says, leaning in to peck Sonny on the lips. Sonny grins and then smells the air.

“Did you make waffles?” he asks excitedly.

“Yes.”

“Oh my god, I love your waffles.”

“So you’ve said.”

“I can’t believe… you were supposed to sleep in!” Sonny exclaims.

“It’s practically 11:00am, Sonny.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Sonny looks dejected for a moment. “I was going to make you breakfast in bed.” Rafael takes one look at Sonny’s frown and bursts out laughing. “What?” Sonny demands.

“You really are the perfect boyfriend,” Rafael says, managing to get a grip. “You bought me flowers, and fresh ingredients from the farmer’s market, and then you went to work to help someone and make my case much stronger, and now you’re mad because you don’t get to make me breakfast?”

“I like taking care of you,” Sonny mutters. “You work hard. And I know the whole Noah thing took a lot out of you.”

“You work hard too, including on your day off. Which believe me, I will have a word with Sergeant Tutuola about. New idea: why don’t change back into something comfortable and  _ I  _ will bring  _ you  _ breakfast in bed.”

“I do love your waffles.” Sonny retreats to the bedroom and Rafael turns his focus to plating. He opens the refrigerator and pulls out a can of whipped cream. Without a second thought, he makes a heart on top of each waffle. It’s only as he’s carrying the two plates to the bedroom that it occurs to him that this might be too corny. That he might be embarrassing himself. 

That worry lasts for about two seconds. As soon as Sonny sees the waffles, his face lights up.

“Oh my god this is so cute. I have to take a picture to send to Rollins. And Bella. Oh my god.” 

“No!” Rafael objects immediately. He’s fine acting like a lovesick idiot around Sonny, but  _ Rollins _ ? Not so much. “Just eat your food,” he says with a fond eye roll.

**+1**

Rafael crumples up a piece of paper and bangs a hand against his head. How does Sonny write these regularly? How does he just write a haiku and then deem it good enough? Rafael has gone through at least eight and none are right. The bouquets of pink tulips he bought are going to wither before he gets this done. 

_ I love you Sonny _

_ Always I will love you dear _

_ Please say yes right now _

No. Wrong. Bad. Besides, what if Sonny finds these before the officially designated time and then ends up saying yes to a completely meaningless question? His entire plan would be ruined. Plus, he repeats I love you. Sloppy writing. How were Sonny’s always so perfect? Sonny should quit his job and become a poet. Meanwhile, Rafael is about two seconds away from calling Alex for a consult. 

No. He won’t. He’s doing this himself.  _ Try again _ , he thinks to himself.  _ You can do it _ . 

_ You make me happy _

_ I still don’t know how that works _

_ Please be my husband _

No. Stupid. Imperfect. It sounds like he’s deprecating Sonny. Not to mention the first line is too generic. How can he write opening statements to actual, real court cases and he can’t write one simple haiku. How is it that Sonny, his boyfriend who occasionally uses the word ‘bazinga’ in polite conversation, can always know what to say? It’s not fair. Rafael is ashamed to admit it, but he would trade the eloquence of his next five court cases if he could just get this haiku right.  _ Just one good haiku _ , he begs the universe.  _ Just one, please _ . Swearing that this is the last attempt before he just picks the least bad, he tries again. 

_ You are my sunshine _

_ I love you more than my life _

_ Will you marry me? _

There it is. That’s good. Maybe it’s Rafael’s tired and exasperated brain, but he can’t find a flaw with that. Sonny will love that. It’s clever, even. Good enough. Okay. He can do this. He takes a new pen and carefully transcribes his chosen haiku onto the card of each bouquet. He surveys his work. They should be safely hidden in here. Sonny never comes into his private study unless it’s an emergency. It’s the rule they made. They would each have a room for alone time. Sonny always respects the rules. 

Rafael takes a deep breath. He is going to have dinner with Sonny. Hopefully his last dinner with Sonny as his boyfriend. From then on, Sonny will be his fiancé. And then he will be having dinner with his husband. Just that thought gives Rafael a pleasant feeling in his stomach. He can do this. He will do this. It’s perfect. 

“I can’t believe you got me all these tulips,” Sonny says as he opens the door to the study.

“Uh huh. And they have a haiku, too. I really stole your entire bit.” Sonny eagerly inspects the card and brings his hand to his mouth as he reads the poem.

“Oh my god.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s incredible. It’s perfect. I’m sad you didn’t get to use it.”

“So am I, believe me.”

“Okay, Rafi, I’m sorry I proposed to you first. Can I still have the flowers?”

“Of course.”

“I’m gonna save the card, too.”

“Please do.”

“I love you, Rafi. I can’t wait to marry you.”

“I love you, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the whiplash in tones from one part to the next and also for my atrocious poetry skills.
> 
> This is also probably the one where there is the most confusion if you haven't read "Scenes from Forlini's (and other, less important places) since sections 3 and 4 connect to a chapter.  
> Chapter 53 connects to section 3  
> Chapter 56 connects to section 4
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
